What have you found for these years?



i think i am more clear to this now,
putting all attention on programming and
self-entertaining, ignoring any other things.
though it is suffering sometimes indeed,
but there's nothing i can do with this,
for years, nothing changed except time and space.
i don't know if i had tried or not,
nor you had tried or not, but that's it,
and i would never know any answer to these.

so yes, there's no difference comparing to
yesterday, it is all happening this way,
and i am always acting that way. but...
just take it, and believe it, hoping things
could be easier, life could be simpler,
not always saying or thinking that why the hell
nor why the heaven, why the earth, why the moon...
why the what-so-ever, then, should believe that,
it is the best i could do and i could get.

in the end, it should be fine and smooth,
i hope, i pray, i believe, i roll (the dice)...

(and i hope i won't be thinking about things
i could never get, stop imagine them, please)

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